Purpose and Hope in Christ
Before I met Jesus I had just no purpose...there was no purpose in my life. It seemed like everything was a dead end, and it seemed like I didn’t really care—that was the scary part—I didn’t care where I was going. I just assumed that one day everything was going to be ok.
I just didn’t know what I was doing in my life; I had no idea. I had dated this girl for four and a half years, and she ended up cheating on me…with my best friend. It was like the two constant people in my life just betrayed me, so I didn’t know what to do, because that was the only thing that I could hold onto in life—the fact that I was going to marry this girl, and everything was going to be fine after that.
What is there? What am I supposed to do? I was just lost, lost in a whole bunch of other things I thought I had purpose in, like how I used just to smoke weed every day—that was it, that was my go to. Then, when things started to go wrong, it became my medicine. I would just smoke all the time at breakfast, lunch and dinner. I couldn’t function without it, because I couldn’t stand to be sober anymore. Because if i was sober, then I would feel awful. And, it was the only way to really relieve the pain, even though it wasn’t even relieving it. When I would do it, it would make me numb but not relieve it; it would make me numb so I didn’t feel it. As soon as it started to wear off, I would need to start to smoking again. If I didn’t, it would start to actually hurt.
I was really broken when I first came to church. I was really broken and messed up, and it's changed even the way I dress. Like I pull up my pants—you know, that kind of thing. Now I know it was the Holy Spirit nudging me, like, "Hey you need to come here, again." But at the time, I was like, "Why do I feel like I need to go to church again? Why can’t I just be high and enjoy this?" Then, I came here, and it was a Sunday at 4 o’clock. I interrupted the Spanish service, the people were outside, and they looked at me. I had been crying, and my eyes were already red. They were like, "Oh my gosh, what’s wrong? Are you ok?" I was like, "I’m fine...is there a Pastor or someone that I can talk to? Because I want to give my life to Christ right now."
There is a Savior out there that wants to know me...He already paid the ultimate price, but He is still here trying to get me back up on my feet to live the life that he created originally. He didn’t give up on me. That’s just crazy, because any other human would have. I would have given up on me a long time ago, when I think about it.
Now, Jesus is everything. He's my Savior. It's such a personal thing, and I didn’t realized how much it meant that he died for me, but when he died for me, I realized that it was specific. He died for me—I wouldn’t be alive. Honestly, all this time I can see now he was watching over me even before I knew him, keeping me alive from the dumb things I would do.
In His word, it says that He hears every single prayer. There’s no prayer too small, and I take hold of that. God, I’m going to pray you, because I know you hear me. I know that you are working everything in your timing. You are working everything the way that you want it to.
God helped me find who I really am. He helped me identify myself and the person that He saw me to be. And, even still, I’m trying to get there—trying to get to the person He is trying to make me.
Before Jesus, I didn’t have a purpose, and I certainly didn’t have hope. But, now I have more hope than I could have ever imagined, and I know I have a purpose that I’m not even aware of yet. And, He has such greater things for me than I can even imagine. I’m Luis.